by Justin Beckner

During a trip to Iowa (don’t ask me why I was there) I came across a brewpub called the Olde Main. It was slightly after noon and I was thirsty so I went inside. Upon speaking with the bartenders and other patrons there, I found that everyone in the bar knew a lot about the beer they were drinking. This was a place where beer was appreciated rather than simply consumed – this was my kind of bar.

The Olde Main had six classic styles of in house brews on tap. The vats that gave birth to the delicious beverages rested just beyond a sheet of glass behind the bar. As I sat there enjoying my beer –– A Scottish Ale called “Off Kilter” –– I began to ponder the rich history of beer brewing process. Everyone can enjoy the obvious effects of beer but it takes another breed to enjoy the science behind it.

I arranged to meet with the brewmaster Jeff “Puff” Irvin the next morning for a tour of the beer making process. Puff spoke with true passion as he explained each step taken to ensure that the beer at Olde Main is held to the highest standard. The following is an interview with Puff, an architect of delicious beer. A thorough explanation of the process used at Olde Main can be found here.

Justin Beckner: What are your credentials as a brewmaster?

Jeff “Puff” Irvin: I have an undergraduate degree in Biology from Iowa State University. Then I went to the University of California Davis and I graduated from the Master Brewers Program down there. Then I came back here to Ames, Iowa and started brewing beer.

JB: Was it always your plan to become a brewmaster or at what point did you decide that was what you wanted to do?

JPI: I had a job as a bartender here to put myself through undergraduate college and I wanted to learn more about the stuff I was serving so I did some brewing experiments at home before I went to school for it. I took a class at Iowa State called Plants & People where we talked about how plants have impacted society over the years so we learned a lot about the ingredients that go into making beer which I found to be really interesting. But I always had a passion for spirits, beer and wine, and I was fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time and have the opportunity to get accepted to UC Davis. I’ve found that brewing beer has been a great fit for me and I’ve been doing it for the past eight years.

JB: Now, on the website people can check out the brewing by way of photos and your process is very well explained. You describe your brewing process here as being very “traditional”. What does that mean exactly?

JPI: We basically use large buckets to brew the beer which is a very old process. We don’t have a lot of the state of the art technology that some places can afford. But people have been making beer the same way for a very long time. We make it 500 gallons at a time. There are some things that we need to take into consideration because of that but the general process is the same as brewing it 5 gallons at a time in your home. It’s not rocket science.

JB: How many people work here?

JPI: The brewhouse in just myself and John, and then we’ve got four part-time guys who come in from time to time. We’ve also got a full time sales guy who’s always out on the road trying to sell the beer.

JB: Is the marketing world as difficult for breweries as it is for things like music and independent films?

JPI: It’s very similar in the fact that there are a lot of great breweries out there who are very good at marketing their product. In that sense, even though we’ve been around for eight years, we are still very new to the marketing aspects of the industry. We do have aspirations of getting bigger and hopefully soon building a new facility off site from here to keep up with production. We bottle five of our beers right now and we’d love to add some more seasonals to that.

JB: In your experimentations with making different kinds of beer and liquors, what would you say is the oddest ingredient you’ve ever used?

JPI: We do a chocolate porter here every year where we add 45 pounds of real Bavarian Chocolate – that’s our winter seasonal and it sells really well. We do an Irish Red beer for St. Patrick’s Day. We do a pumpkin brew for our fall seasonal. Some of the crazier stuff we do are our one-off runs. We did a 13 grain beer that had a bunch of holistic aphrodisiacs in it like Horny Goat Wheat Powder and Yohimbine. That was kind of funny and it sold well after we explained what was in it. We did a 4 Oat beer which we made with malted oats, flaked oats, toasted oats, and then an oat cereal that I can’t tell you the name of it because I called the company and since it is marketed to kids, they wouldn’t let us use the name anywhere. I can tell you that it was Magically Delicious – that’s what we called it. The interesting thing is that the cereal we used had marshmallows in it. We poured the boxes of cereal into our mash tub, so that was pretty interesting. We did a double IPA last spring which ended up being like 15.5 percent alcohol content. We used a process called dry hopping which we’d never used before here. It was a delicious beer but it was really a messy process. We’d like to make it again but we’ve got to figure out a better way to strain it from our tubs because it tends to clog everything up.


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by Laurelin



Change over time is a strange thing; it’s so gradual and so fast at the same time. One day you open your eyes and you’re like, wow, where did the time go? How did I get here in this apartment with all this stuff, with this job and this… life.

That’s how I felt high school and college were, and then all the years after that –– a montage of years blending, flickering in my memory like old movies, set to the most beautiful music. It all seemed to be only an exhale in a series of breaths, and all the breaths gone with only the slightest breeze before I’m even aware I’ve drawn another. It was forever and no time at all at the same time, and when it was finally over I couldn’t place how I had changed, or when; I just knew that somehow, I had. Looking back on the past month of my life I am finally able to look at something and know that without a doubt, this instance was when everything changed. This moment was mine.

I have always coasted though life with minimal responsibilities. At almost 30 I have to say I have the best and worst of it all: I have worked hard for every penny I’ve earned. I’ve always paid my own way. I fell into bartending because it paid my bills and still allowed me to party. This was a community where I could drink and stay up late and have a family, and a home away from home. I watched every friend I ever had in high school and then college settle and get married, start families, buy houses. And I stayed the same. I don’t think I ever had a problem, but I certainly never had any solutions. I never thought of it as a career, but it all of a sudden was mine, and while others turned up their noses I decided to make it my own. I never thought that anyone else would imagine me as being able to run a bar on my own; it was always someone else’s job. But then all of a sudden, there it was. An offer for this place to be mine –– really, actually mine.

Being offered a management position in an industry that has always allowed me to coast through life with minimal responsibilities seemed at first frightening. I can’t do this! Other people do this! It was scary, knowing that someone saw something in me, someone thinks I could run the show. What if I’m not good at it? What if I let everyone down? A chance to shine is also a chance to fail, and I always ran from responsibility in fear of failing. Mulling over my fate clutching my usual pint of beer, I consciously make a choice. This job I’ve chosen might not be what “everyone else” is doing, but it can be a career, it’s always been mine. I took a week to think about it and when I was finally ready to say “yes,” I knew that my life would never be the same. This was one of those moments where you take control and literally steer your life down one path. Mentally, I strap on my seatbelt and brace for impact.

My new manager pants seem to be fitting alright, but at the same time I am still so lost; working amongst friends and ex-boyfriends, trying to find my voice of authority while also trying to remain one of the gang. I have no idea who this person is who is supposed to be in charge. I feel like I haven’t found my voice. I can’t even control the color of my cheeks around my ex, how can I control the bar? I may not feel like I can find that voice of authority, but I have always had MY voice, and sometimes I hear that person I want to be stepping forward and speaking, as though someone else is finally accepting a role, and it takes a minute to realize that that person really is me.

I’m settling in in my own way, piece by piece. I’ve come to the conclusion that for me, there really isn’t a life beyond the bar scene. Some people were created just for this; born of late nights, shaken cocktails, of phone numbers and thoughts scribbled on cocktail napkins and spilt beer. I like to think that I didn’t just fall into this because it was easy. That’s how it started, sure. But it’s not how it’s going to end.



***

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by Blogbot


[Dwam Suicide in Parallelism]



Artist / SG Member Name: I'm Dwam on SG and as a tattooist, but I use Ipomée as an illustrator name.

Mission Statement: I don't know. I'm fascinated by the aesthetic of the body. I love drawing people, faces, bodies, clothing, motions, figures, in order to convey or translate moods, emotions, and sensations. I'm also really into dreams, symbols, mythology, and gender issues, and I'm trying to infuse that in my works.





Medium: Mostly graphic and ink on paper, some acrylic inks or watercolor, and digital art on Photoshop quite often. And skin now.

Aesthetic: Obviously it's very influenced by comics. And now all this background influences a lot my tattoo work. I don't know if this will make sense, but what I'm looking for, mostly, is the elegance of the lines.





Notable Achievements: Although I've been a part of a bunch of collective comics books, and I also created a self-published 4 books project with my schoolmates back in time; I never really made it further into the comics world. After I worked in an animation studio, I changed directions and stepped into the tattooing world, and that has been a lot more successful! However, I'm still illustrating sometimes for magazines or occasional commissions.





Why We Should Care: I don't know. Why should you care, or why not? I hope to touch people with my art, but then it's a matter of taste and sensibility, and they do not always match.

I Want Me Some: I've got a bunch of prints and originals on sale but no site for that. Most of my works are on my blog: ipomee.canalblog.com/ The easiest way is to contact me on SG or at ipomeee@hotmail.com if you're interested.





***

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by A.J. Focht


[Above: First look at the Jim Lee designed cover for DC's Free Comic Book Day]

The Avengers is a less than two months away and each week more information about the film is released. Most recently, SFX Magazine interviewed members of the production including Tom Hiddleston (Loki) and Director Josh Whedon. Hiddleston revealed some of Loki’s motives and Whedon further talked about the troubles with juggling so many heroes. Tickets for the midnight showings of The Avengers go on sale as early as March 16th. Those lucky enough to be near an affiliated AMC theatre can also catch the $40 Avengers Marathon that includes: Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor 3D, and Captain America 3D all before the midnight showing of The Avengers 3D.

Potential spoilers have leaked for the upcoming Iron Man 3 project. Playing off the storyline to come in The Avengers, Iron Man 3 will explore the Extremis storyline where Tony Stark uses nano-technology to become one with the Iron Man suit. For Iron Man comic fans, this is not as much of a surprise as the first Iron Man movie followed the Extremis origin and not the original origin. Another interesting thing on the video was confirmation that three Avengers: Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man will all be getting sequels regardless of how The Avengers does, whereas, the future of The Hulk franchise will be dependent on the performance of The Avengers.



There is a lot happening in the world of comics. The first preview for DC’s Free Comic Book Day book has been released. Marvel comics has also released four more cover previews for the upcoming Avengers vs. X-Men. Also, I called it weeks ago and now everyone else is catching on. With the release of the newest Spider-Men teaser, many are coming to the conclusion that Miles Morales and Peter Parker will be meeting in the main Marvel verse.



DC is also making some changes with their comics. April will be the last month for a few of the New 52 that didn’t sell as well such as Static Shock, Hawk & Dove, and Men of War. They are also changing up artists. Starting in May, Detective Comics and Batwoman are getting new artists. Why they are replacing Batwoman’s artist after it was widely voted the Best Art in a Comic in 2011 is beyond me.



DC has also released more information, including covers, for Before Watchmen. The comics go on sale starting in June, but you may want to read the latest comments of Watchmen creator Allen Moore before buying them. In short, Moore is still upset he was screwed out of the rights for Watchmen, and he kindly asks if you do buy Before Watchmen that you stop purchasing all of his other works.

Joss Whedon has three movies coming out this year including The Avengers, but he hasn’t given up the fight for Firefly. In short, he said:

Speaking of watching projects rise from the dead, Warner Bros is talking to Javier Bardem about The Dark Tower movie. Ron Howard still is set to direct the first film, perhaps with Bardem as the Gunslinger. The studio has purchased the script, and it is likely to start shooting in 2013.

The cast from the upcoming Evil Dead remake is nearly full. Most of the roles in the film have been cast and an official premise has been released:

Finally, George Takei was so excited when he raised the money for his upcoming Broadway musical Allegiance that he decided to share a little something with all his fans. I leave you with George Takei’s Happy Dance.

by Damon Martin

Remember the bit in Back to the Future when Doc Brown (played by Christopher Lloyd) utters that very line and flies away in his souped up DeLorean to take Michael J. Fox and his girlfriend 30 years into the future? He takes them to the year 2015, which is only 3 years from now. In Brown’s version of the future, all the cars had been converted to flying automobiles and we had air gliding skateboards, video walls, and instant pizza.

Were some of those ideas a little crazy? Sure they were. But thinking back 30 years ago, those sorts of things almost seemed possible. I mean look at 1985 compared to 1955 with regards to the advancements in science, technology and innovation.

Now in the year 2012, the United States of America is falling behind the rest of the world when it comes to STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math), while our creativity and innovation fails to come up with much of anything new outside of Apple releasing a new iPhone or iPad every year.

Famed astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson believes that a big reason that America is falling behind innovation-wise is due to the lack of funding the government has given over to NASA in the last several years. As our space program has dwindled so has our ability to think outside the box, and reach for the stars both literally and figuratively.

Tyson recently spoke in front of Congress where he made his case for why NASA's funding is so important:



"During the late 1950's through the early 1970's, every few weeks an article, cover story, or headline would extol the 'city of tomorrow,' the 'home of tomorrow,' the 'transportation of tomorrow.' Despite such optimism, that period was one of the gloomiest in US history, with a level of unrest not seen since the Civil War. The Cold War threatened total annihilation, a hot war killed a hundred servicemen each week, the civil rights movement played out daily confrontations, and multiple assassinations and urban riots poisoned the landscape," said Tyson. "The only people doing much dreaming back then were scientists, engineers and technologists. Their visions of tomorrow derive from their formal training as discoverers. And what inspired them was America's bold and visible investment on the space frontier."

Now Tyson points out very specifically that in realistic terms the reason why the US was so dedicated to the space race in the 60s had to do with the Russians' own dedication to space exploration. The USSR launched the first manned missions into space and the only way the US could beat them was to land a man on the moon. Obviously that was a successful conquest, and, in the period directly following it, most people believed that within a couple of decades we'd surely have landed a man on Mars. Neil Armstrong first stepped foot on the moon on July 20, 1969, yet more than 40 years later our space exploration has essentially landed back on Earth with a dull thud.

'We stopped dreaming' said Tyson during an appearance on the popular HBO series Real Time with Bill Maher. "And so I worry, that decisions Congress makes, doesn't factor in the consequences of those decisions on tomorrow. Tomorrow's gone. They're playing for the quarterly report, they're playing for the next election cycle, and that is mortgaging the actual future of this nation."

In that same interview, Tyson also points out that the financial bailout ($850 billion) that was completed to save the banks and Wall Street from complete collapse, is more than the entire 50 year tally of the budget for NASA.

The fact is Tyson is right and it's not even all about landing a man on the moon or exploring the deepest reaches of space, as amazing as all that would be. So much technology was developed as a result of our race to the moon, and that also created work for millions of Americans. Technology launched or invented because of our out of this world endeavors includes Lasik surgery, scratch resistant lenses, cordless power tools, micro-sized electronics, and the list goes on...



But we stopped dreaming.

Even in the early 1980s when I was in elementary school, kids talked all the time about becoming astronauts and wanting to walk on Mars or being the first person to fly to Pluto. I vividly remember our teachers always showing the shuttle launches and how exciting that was to see for a kid growing up. Now our children's dreams might take them as far as Washington, D.C. or New York City, but rarely do you hear anybody talking about flying to Mars, much less colonizing the moon.

As NASA's budget continues to fall by the wayside while other programs flourish, and our war machine eats up billions upon billions of dollars, what dreams are we instilling in the next generation? We are obviously a long, long way from landing on Mars or even sending manned missions back into space. We can barely get funding for the technology that will help us peer far enough into space from earth so that we may one day learn the true origins of our universe.

Flying cars? Maybe Doc Brown should have shot for 200 years in the future given the trajectory we're currently on.

by Nahp Suicide


[Gogo in Nixe]

P_Mod is from Strasbourg, France, and has been a photographer for SG since 2006. He specializes in shooting for tattoo magazines, and also takes live music and band promo pics.

How did you first get involved with SuicideGirls?

After a long photography break, my tattoo artist (Reynald, Asphalt Jungle) asked me to do a couple of portraits of some of his costumers. It was a proposition that I declined first cause I felt uncomfortable with portraits. (Basically I was pretty shy and I preferred taking pictures of landscapes, abandoned buildings, and so on.) I discovered SG when looking for good inspiration pictures of tattooed people, and three months later I shot two girls (Ayane & Raia) in Paris with a national TV team behind my back. I hadn't slept for two days before the shoot, but at least the baptism by fire was done.




What's your background photography-wise?

I learnt photography [at college] and I graduated 15 years ago. I was pretty disgusted by the artsy/elitist/show-off [element of] the students’ and teachers’ mind-shaping, so I gave up shooting for eight years and worked as an assistant in a photo laboratory. Then digital arrived and the photo processing industry felt down, so I opened my company four years ago. Now I work mostly for the tattoo press and doing band pictures.


[Myra in Fernsehapparat]

What was the first photo you had published?

A picture of Jay Read for the cover of Rise tattoo magazine. 




How would you describe your style?

That's a pretty difficult question. I don't work to create a special style actually. Basically I try to keep pictures as close to reality as I can. Photography is in many ways like music, you can hide behind the technology, but it’s not everything. For example, I was at a Dream Theater show a couple of years ago. It was the most well executed gig I've ever seen, but the most boring also. Two days later I went to a random punk gig. It was technically a disaster, but way more enjoyable and alive. You can shoot a perfect picture technically, but which doesn't work cause the moment isn't there and nothing happens. The shoot is only a part of the process. The selection is also very important: why a picture is a part of your selection, what the picture means for you, and how it represents your mood during the shoot – even if the picture is not technically perfect.

What gear do you use?

A Canon 1D + 50mm + 24-70 95% of the time, and Hasselblad 500CM for analog.





[Dwam in Woad]

How important is Photoshop in your final images?

I think that a raw image which doesn't work unedited won't work edited. I try to select pictures where I won't have to spend two hours editing, but there's obviously an element of laziness also.




What gives you ideas and inspires you to create such amazing sets?

Mostly music visuals, video clips, cinema. Actually, most of the time it's not a real creation but it's tributes from existing things, winks or whatever. The trick is I'm usually trying to let the girl bring her idea. I'm just here to help in a technical shaping. It's not laziness; I find it interesting to involve models in their own idea as SG is basically a way to show yourself. There's also the possible scenario where there's no specific theme, in this case we just discuss how we can take advantage of a location, light, and mood, and do something coherent. To mix with some photographers on SG like Steve Prue, Cherry, Albertine or Dwam has been a real inspiration and kind of changed my view on photography generally speaking.





[Apory in Karma Police]

What is your favorite image?

None and many in the same time.

Tell us why it's your fave and how you achieved it?

My main trouble is when I spend too much time on the pictures, then I always think it's all crap. I used to have a personal crisis, like "let's give up photography and open a fishing company in the country side." On the other hand, I'm more interested in personalities than simple aesthetics, so my faves are obviously the pictures done with people who own a strong universe. I think when you can join personality and aesthetic, you can be sure something will happen. My first thoughts go to people like AnnaLee, Gogo, Lylie, Leopoldine, Dwam, Nemesis, Revenge, Apory, Opale, Sinnah, and so many others. But I'm certainly not objective about it as they are a way more than models and have became true friends.



Is there anybody or anything you would love to photograph that you haven't? (And tell us why)

I’m usually [limited by] geographic issues, but I'd like to drift off into new encounters so let's wait and see ; )


[Dwam, Key, Morrigan, Nemesis, Opale, and Tie in ZILF]

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by SG's Team Agony feat. Morgan

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Morgan in Green Like Cash]

Q: I'm the girlfriend of a fella who is has always been a big PS3 fan, but lately I feel like it's replacing me. Like I swear I think it hurts him to leave it for long enough to have sex. And when were done, he's running back to it. What can I do? Really wanting to smash it with a bat

A: Even as someone who is a pretty dedicated gamer myself, I sympathize. No matter what your significant other is busy with, it can feel hurtful to feel that they are more interested in a hobby than they are in you. The best advice I can give you is to talk directly to your boyfriend about this. When you do, try to avoid sounding accusatory or implying that you want him to give up PS3 completely.

Use "I" statements to tell him in more detail about your reactions when he spends too much time gaming and not enough time with you: "I feel like I don't get to spend enough time with you when you game all evening," for example. A good partner should be able to make a compromise with you so that he feels like he still gets to enjoy his hobby, but you don't feel ignored because of it.

Morgan

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by SG's Team Agony feat. Morgan

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Morgan in Green Like Cash]

Q: I'm the girlfriend of a fella who is has always been a big PS3 fan, but lately I feel like it's replacing me. Like I swear I think it hurts him to leave it for long enough to have sex. And when were done, he's running back to it. What can I do? Really wanting to smash it with a bat

A: Even as someone who is a pretty dedicated gamer myself, I sympathize. No matter what your significant other is busy with, it can feel hurtful to feel that they are more interested in a hobby than they are in you. The best advice I can give you is to talk directly to your boyfriend about this. When you do, try to avoid sounding accusatory or implying that you want him to give up PS3 completely.

Use "I" statements to tell him in more detail about your reactions when he spends too much time gaming and not enough time with you: "I feel like I don't get to spend enough time with you when you game all evening," for example. A good partner should be able to make a compromise with you so that he feels like he still gets to enjoy his hobby, but you don't feel ignored because of it.

Morgan

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Steven-Elliot Altman (SG Member: Steven_Altman)

Our Fiction Friday serialized novel, The Killswitch Review, is a futuristic murder mystery with killer sociopolitical commentary (and some of the best sex scenes we’ve ever read!). Written by bestselling sci-fi author Steven-Elliot Altman (with Diane DeKelb-Rittenhouse), it offers a terrifying postmodern vision in the tradition of Blade Runner and Brave New World...

By the year 2156, stem cell therapy has triumphed over aging and disease, extending the human lifespan indefinitely. But only for those who have achieved Conscientious Citizen Status. To combat overpopulation, the U.S. has sealed its borders, instituted compulsory contraception and a strict one child per couple policy for those who are permitted to breed, and made technology-assisted suicide readily available. But in a world where the old can remain vital forever, America’s youth have little hope of prosperity.

Jason Haggerty is an investigator for Black Buttons Inc, the government agency responsible for dispensing personal handheld Kevorkian devices, which afford the only legal form of suicide. An armed “Killswitch” monitors and records a citizen’s final moments — up to the point where they press a button and peacefully die. Post-press review agents — “button collectors” — are dispatched to review and judge these final recordings to rule out foul play.

When three teens stage an illegal public suicide, Haggerty suspects their deaths may have been murders. Now his race is on to uncover proof and prevent a nationwide epidemic of copycat suicides. Trouble is, for the first time in history, an entire generation might just decide they’re better off dead.

(Catch up with the previous installments of Killswitch – see links below – then continue reading after the jump…)



[THE KILLSWITCH REVIEW – CHAPTER NINE, PART THREE]

[GHOSTS IN THE MACHINE]

[Previous Chapter]

“Jason!” Regina cried and rushed to him. Instinctively his arms reached to hold her.

“I’m so glad you’re alive,” she said. She laughed through her tears. “Although I wish you’d found a better disguise.” Her hand rested lightly on his plastiched cheek.

“Regina,” he said, staring down at her tearstained face. It felt so good to hold her again. She looked the same as when he’d seen her last — the same clothes, including his shirt. But so much had happened to him since then. “I’m so sorry about your brother.”

She placed a finger gently against his lips. Haggerty pulled her close.

“Your friend Traci is —”

“We know,” Svoboda said. “You’ve been blamed. We know you’re innocent. We know everything you’ve learned, from watching your investigation through Elsa. And I have information you don’t have that you’ll find useful. That’s why you’re here. Let’s go into my sitting room, shall we?”

“Come to me after, Jason?” Regina pleaded.

“Count on it,” Haggerty told her.

She went to Svoboda, clasped his hands, and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheeks. With a tremulous smile to Haggerty and a sidelong glance at Elsa, she exited the room.

“Our meeting was no coincidence, was it?” Haggerty asked Svoboda.

Svoboda smiled. “I sent her to spend the night with you. Don’t look so hurt, Mr. Haggerty. It was completely her choice to seduce you. I sent her to keep you from pressing.”

“How could you possibly know I was going to press?”

Svoboda placed a hand on his shoulder. Haggerty winced.

“I could tell you about deviations in your normal routine, graph the downslope of your psychevals I’ve pilfered from your company. But I won’t. I knew you were suicidal because your assistant knew it.” He glanced at Elsa, who stood to the side surveying the device that transmitted her audiovisual signal. “That red button on top will cut the connection and end transmission,” Svoboda told her. Before Haggerty could speak, Svoboda prodded, “Again I apologize. Please, come inside and make yourself comfortable.”

The adjoining chamber felt like a retro-Moroccan sensual hashish dream: wine-colored draperies, fire in a large pit, pushpillows for seating. A pitcher of water had been placed on a circular table of beaten brass, along with a pair of tall plastic cups. Svoboda poured water into one of them for Haggerty.

Haggerty used it to down three celtrex, covertly inserting them beneath his tongue while his host poured himself a cup of water. Elsa sat beside him expressionless.

“Clean water must be a luxury out here,” Haggerty said, extending his cup for a refill.

“I’ve got it pretty well rigged,” Svoboda said. “I’m glad you appreciate it.” He refilled Haggerty’s cup. “You may wonder why I’m skilled at these antiquated technologies.”

Haggerty took the bait. “Tell me.”

“I invented most of them or oversaw their implementation,” he said. “Including the one that’s kept you gainfully employed for the past six decades.”

“That’s not possible. The Kevorkian unit was invented by T. J. Soverign.”

“At that time I was still using the Anglicized version adopted by my grandfather when he came to this country. My full name is Tomas Yosif Svoboda.”

Haggerty scrutinized the man before him, comparing the dark eyes, the reddish hair to his memory of the portrait he’d passed daily going to and from his office at BBI. The skin was now deeply tanned, but it was easy to imagine how pale it had been before decades of exposure to the sun. He calculated the English equivalents of his present ethnic name.

“Thomas Joseph Sovereign,” he said.

“That is the name my father gave me,” Svoboda acknowledged. “I used it until I realized my great mistake, my terrible sin, and rejected what I’d done.”

“You invented the box and then had some grand religious conversion?”

“Not a religious conversion,” Svoboda told him. “I merely came to my senses. Please allow me to explain.

“Before the stem was cracked, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. She went through endless surgeries, chemotherapies, radiation treatments. Her disease would retreat for a while and come back more aggressive than ever. Eventually, the fight was useless. But it took a long, long time and her suffering was terrible. Our doctors were compassionate — they gave her more pain medication than was legally allowed — but she was begging for death long before she finally succumbed. Her story wasn’t uncommon. I vowed to do everything possible to see that others didn’t go through that kind of suffering.

“I had studied engineering at MIT, courtesy of the United States, and when I got out Uncle Sam expected a lot back from me. Before I knew it I was heading the think tank that oversaw all new technology directives for everyone from the Department of Energy to the CDC to the North American Aerospace Defense Command. Endless funds were put at my disposal. I invented the Kevorkian unit to provide a more humane way for the terminally ill to end their lives. I fought for the legislation to make its use legal and then sat on the board of directors at BBI. I didn’t foresee what would happen. KV units weren’t just prescribed for the terminally ill. Soon the laws were changed to allow anyone who could pass a minimal psycheval to press when they saw fit, not just to escape terminal illness but to escape periods of treatable depression or boredom. And BBI evolved to accommodate these changes.”

“So you retired to the desert and founded the Indivisibles,” Haggerty said.

“Again, that came later. Initially I thought I could fight the system from within. I moved to another agency and continued to invent the best tek I could. Which I did well and prolifically until the satellite defense grids went up and we sealed ourselves off from the world.”

“You say that like you think it was a mistake,” Haggerty said. An ant nibbled his thumb.

“I do,” Svoboda said, folding his arms across his robe. “Sealing our borders was the worst decision the American government ever made. Our insularity was bound to hurt us eventually.”

“You blame the government for what’s happening now?”

“It could have been avoided with foresight. I curse myself every day for not getting involved earlier in protesting the system.”

“How old are you?” Haggerty asked.

“One-hundred-fifty-six.” Svoboda smiled at Haggerty’s astonishment. “I can remember what it was like to pump my own gas and I rather miss it,” he said. “It can be difficult watching everything transform around you while you continue relatively unchanged, but it gives you perspective. I have a deeper understanding of what’s happening and why. In a way I’ve played a role in recent events.”

“You’re part of the conspiracy?” Haggerty said, startled.

“Mostly I’m an observer,” Svoboda answered calmly. “But I may be responsible for Max Jennings, who is responsible for this conspiracy, as you call it. I first met him when I was demonstrating against one of Antonio Stelwyn’s companies, North American Health Initiatives. Young Max was a rising star in their chemtech division.”

“I would swear he’s under thirty,” Haggerty asserted. “That’s too young to be legally employed.”

“There have been exceptions to child labor laws almost as long as those laws have existed, Mr. Haggerty. It is rare, but corporations pick off the best and the brightest from our top universities from time to time, offering them full-time work for a fraction of what they pay legal adults. Max impressed the right people while he was still in school, and the required exemptions were duly processed.”

“It couldn’t have been Stelwyn. I don’t think he knows Max worked for him,” Haggerty said.

“You’re probably right,” Svoboda said. “There was no need to involve him in a routine business transaction. Max developed a competing drug, which he refused to abandon and refused to give to his employers. So he was terminated. It’s doubtful Antonio Stelwyn even knew about it.

“Young Max was the breadwinner in his family. His parents put everything they had into Max’s education, and as a result of his success they were living well above their means. Their savings quickly dried up, and they used my damned invention to end their lives — the same invention manufactured by Stelwyn’s company.”

There was the connection between Stelwyn and BBI. “Was there no insurance?” Haggerty asked.

“If there was, it can’t have been much,” Svoboda said. “Max came to me with nothing but the clothes on his back.”

“And Max blames Stelwyn,” Haggerty concluded.

“Very good, Mr. Haggerty.”

“Max became part of your colony?”

“I took him in and mentored him,” Svoboda acknowledged. “It seemed the perfect opportunity to save someone like myself from the mistakes I’d made.”

“And you failed miserably,” Haggerty pointed out harshly.

“I did not know the whole story at that point, Mr. Haggerty. Max presented himself to me as wanting to make a difference in the world. I realized too late that his goals were actually vengeance and personal gain. I provided him refuge until he could find the means to achieve them. Then he perverted my teachings against the system and used them for his own ends.

“The philosophy of the Indivisibles is that the system has gone against the natural order and our nation has divided itself. We have therapies to extend our lives indefinitely but not the resources to support the population our longer lifespans create. Our young have been relegated to second-class citizenship with no hope of meaningful employment or purpose to their lives. Black boxes provide a too-easy solution. I offer the young an alternative. I’m training them to be productive members of society.”

“Productive or destructive?”

“As part of the present system in America, you might well call it destructive, Mr. Haggerty. But I’m training them to be of service to the world and to the future, teaching them the technology that can transform society here and around the globe. Some of them will achieve positions in this country eventually, and promote the sanctity of life. Those who choose to refuse infertility can come here, as you’ve seen. Many go to the third world, to bring others the hope of transformation and ultimately reversing the devastation our predecessors wrought.”

“You send them into exile, to grow old, risk illness, and die?”

“It’s the only place where they are granted permission to be productive now, Mr. Haggerty. The only place they can find fulfillment and meaning. And it is their choice.”

“Meanwhile you remain here and continue your telemor treatments, living off the fruits of their labor?”

“My purpose is to help as many as I can, and for now that requires that I live as long as possible. That’s my penance for creating the black box. I used to believe that everyone should live forever if we could make it possible, and where has that gotten us? Regina told me that she explained to you the decline in mankind’s lifespan as recorded in the Bible. But telemor treatments do not naturally regenerate the body. Stop the treatments and the aging process reasserts itself. My goal is to make the world livable for everyone, so that ultimately the planet is no longer divided and all people are truly equal. That will probably take longer than I already have lived or am likely to survive, but that is my destiny now. And the first step is to change the system as it now exists.”

* * *

Excerpt from The Killswitch Review, published by Yard Dog Press. Copyright 2011 Steven-Elliot Altman.

Steven-Elliot Altman is a bestselling author, screenwriter, and videogame developer. He won multiple awards for his online role playing game, 9Dragons. His novels include Captain America is Dead, Zen in the Art of Slaying Vampires, Batman: Fear Itself, Batman: Infinite Mirror, The Killswitch Review, The Irregulars, and Deprivers. His writing has been compared to that of Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Michael Crichton and Philip K. Dick, and he has collaborated with world class writers such as Neil Gaiman, Michael Reaves, Harry Turtledove and Dr. Janet Asimov. He’s also the editor of the critically acclaimed anthology The Touch, and a contributor to Shadows Over Baker Street, a Hugo Award winning anthology of Sherlock Holmes meets H.P. Lovecraft stories.

Steven also bares ink on his body, and is bi, as in bi-coastal, between NYC and LA. He’s currently hard at work writing and directing his latest videogame Cursed Love, an online free to play gothic horror RPG from Dark Hermit Studios, set in Victorian London. Think Sherlock Holmes, Jack The Ripper and Dorian Gray mercilessly exploit the cast of Twilight. Friend Cursed Love (Official Closed Beta) on facebook and you can have fun playing out this tawdry, tragic romance with Steven while the game is being beta tested!

Diane DeKelb-Rittehouse spent several years in Manhattan as an actress before marrying her college sweetheart and returning to the Philadelphia area where she had been born. Diane first worked with Steven-Elliot Altman when they created the acclaimed, Publisher’s Weekly Starred-Review anthology The Touch: Epidemic of the Millennium, in which her story “Gifted” appeared. Diane has published a number of critically acclaimed short stories, most notably in the science fiction, murder, and horror genres. Her young adult fantasy novel, Fareie Rings: The Book of Forests, is now available in stores or online.

Interested in buying a printed copy of The Killswitch Review? Well, Steve’s publisher Yard Dog Press was kind enough to put up a special page where SuicideGirls can get a special discount and watch a sexy trailer. Just follow this link to KillswitchReview.com and click on the SG logo.

* * *

Related Posts:
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One, Part Four
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Two, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Two, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Two, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Three, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Three, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Three, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Four, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Four, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Four, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Five, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Five, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Five, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Six, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Six, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Six, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Seven, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Seven, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Seven, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Seven, Part Four
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Seven, Part Five
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Eight, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Eight, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Eight, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Nine, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Nine, Part Two

by Blogbot

Featuring Tuaina (the black puppy), Megatron (the German Shepherd), Piraña (the white kitty), Tomasa (the gray kitty), and Banano (the black kitty) – Pictured with their mistress (Nahp Suicide).







INTO:
Tutaina: All Kinds of food.
Megatrón: Bitting Kong and other stuff.
Piraña: Sleeping in shoes boxes.
Tomasa: Running away from home.
Banano: Looking for love when his mom is watching TV.

NOT INTO:
Tutaina: I don’t like it when the door bell rings.
Megatron: Strange people.
Piraña: Being held.
Tomasa: Medicine.
Banano: Strange people invading my home.







MAKES US HAPPPY:
All: Love and food.

MAKES US SAD:
Puppies: Being alone.
Kitties: The vacuum cleaner.

HOBBIES:
Puppies: Going out with our mom and her boyfriend.
Kitties: Sleeping and playing at 3:00 AM.

5 THINGS WE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:
Food, water, love, fun, our litter box (kitties) / car rides (puppies).







VICES:
Tutaina: I love to lick hands.
Megatron: I can't play without biting a little bit.
Piraña: I drop to the floor to receive caresses.
Tomasa: I love get into the house next door.
Banano: I hide under the sheet and believe no one can see me (even though mom always knows where to find me).

WE SPEND MOST OF OUR FREE TIME:
Sleeping, playing, being cute, and making mom and dad smile.





Photography: Anemona




More Beyond Cute Posts:
Ultima Suicide, Oogie Suicide, Rin Suicide, Tita Suicide, Kraven Suicide, Kemper Suicide, Leandra Suicide, Selahh Suicide, Lunar Suicide, Pia Suicide, Creepy Suicide, Shaddix Suicide, Ryker Suicide, Corgan Suicide, Selene Suicide, Eden Suicide, Venom Suicide, Corgan Suicide, Kewpie Suicide, Jamity Suicide, Epiic Suicide, Patton Suicide, MnemoZyne Suicide, Frolic Suicide, Shotgun Suicide, Phecda Suicide, Lavezzaro Suicide, Rourke Suicide, Antigone Suicide, King Suicide, Clio Suicide, Exning Suicide, Aadie Suicide, Pilot Suicide, Persephone Suicide, Luana Suicide, Fraise Suicide, Cheri Suicide, Jensen Suicide, Radeo Suicide, Lorelei Suicide, Scotty Suicide, Milloux Suicide, Psyche Suicide, Scotty Suicide, GoGo Suicide, Rambo Suicide, Sash Suicide

by Damon Martin



Everyone knows soap operas...those daytime shows our moms and grandmas used to watch when we were away at school with improbable storylines where someone’s mother ends up being their sister, or they are in fact married to their sister who also happens to be their mother.

They have been chiseled at for years as lesser television with cheesy dialogue, bad acting, and laughable storylines. But the low brow art form has also been an important piece of the American television landscape for more than 50 years. Now, however, they are seeing a painful and rapid decline, and their ultimate demise could be in sight.

You might be asking yourself, why is the comic book/atheist/political writer tackling something as trivial as soap operas? I grew up in a house where my grandma, mother, and sister toiled away for at least two hours every weekday watching the latest exploits of Luke and Laura, Tad and Dixie, and all the other soap characters on television. They were strong, independent women, but they loved their soap operas. As a 10-year old kid I never got why they watched these shows, but once I got older I started to understand, and that's exactly why I'm feel compelled to pay tribute to them by writing this now.

Unlike the bulk of mainstream network television, where it's still taboo to talk about things like abortion, gay relationships, rape, abuse, and other social issues – issues that should be discussed openly on the small screen – soap operas have been tackling tough topics for years. Perhaps it’s the very sense of unrealistic melodrama that pervades these shows which has allowed these daytime dramas to cover the difficult issues way ahead of the curve consistently over the years.

In 1964, the NBC soap opera Another World showcased the abortion issue, seven years ahead of the landmark Roe vs. Wade decision in the Supreme Court. The ABC show <em?One Life To Live featured strong African-American characters in the late ‘60s, as well as featuring a drug addicted teen who had to be sent away to rehabilitation. Another ABC soap, All My Children, was the first television show to write the Vietnam War into their storylines when a character was drafted into the military and killed in action. One Life to Live has also featured one of the first and longest running gay characters in television history.

While AIDS and HIV became a pithy and poignant subject for both television and movies in the ‘80s, the soap opera General Hospital dealt with it in a very real way when the popular character Stone Cates contracted the disease from dirty needles and passed along the virus to his young girlfriend, Robin Scorpio. Robin was infected with HIV while Stone developed full-blown AIDS, and she had to watch as he dwindled away and died from the crushing disease.

The bold move General Hospital writers took however, was to focus on Robin after she contracted the disease. For years, Robin survived and thrived as a successful student and then doctor, all while carrying the HIV virus. General Hospital showed that being HIV positive doesn't have be seen as simply a death sentence, and life can go on.

The issues surrounding physical abuse and rape have also been addressed in detail on the soaps. Like when character Elizabeth Webber was attacked and sexually assaulted. The fallout, much like in real life, affected her for many years to come.

Beyond the social importance of soap operas, the platform has also been a launching pad for some of the best actors and actresses working in Hollywood today. It’s easy to deride soap opera acting, but some quality thespians sharpened their skills under the spotlight of daytime television.

Julianne Moore got her big break while starring on As the World Turns for 3 years, Tommy Lee Jones in the early ‘70s on One Life to Live, Demi Moore was a mainstay on General Hospital for a couple of years, and Eva Longoria got her start on The Young and the Restless. There are dozens and dozens of other actors who first appeared in soap operas long before the big screen, like Brad Pitt, Susan Surandon, Josh Duhamel, Kelly Ripa, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and the list goes on and on.

The golden age of soap operas seems long past, but it was only 20 years ago when the genre transcended its daytime label and became big time news. On General Hospital, the marriage of characters Luke Spencer and Laura Webber was the most watched moment in daytime history. More than 30 million viewers tuned in to see the super couple tie the knot, and it landed actors Anthony Geary and Genie Francis on the cover of People and Newsweek. Elizabeth Taylor even became so enamored with the soap couple that she appeared in a few episodes of the long running daytime drama.

Now in the year 2012, the soap opera is definitely a genre in desperate need of urgent care. ABC canceled the long running shows All My Children and One Life to Live. The web-based media company Prospect Park attempted to revive the programs by taking them online, but funding came up short and both were dropped before they ever made their computer screen debuts. Guiding Light and Another World bit the dust prior to both of those ABC shows coming to an end. As it stands only four soap operas remain on the air at this time.

CBS still runs The Young and the Restless and The Bold and the Beautiful, while NBC's lone remaining soapy effort is Days of Our Lives. ABC, who seemed hell bent on getting out of the soap business, has only General Hospital remaining on their schedule. However, General Hospital may be the next to get its life support cut off, as ABC has currently slated talk show host Katie Couric to take over the 3 PM time spot come September, which is the show’s slot with most of its affiliates.

Are soap operas a relic of a different age? Or is their death due to the fact they failed to adapt with the times? The humble soap opera was once an important part of American pop culture in the same way that reality television now is. The only difference is soap operas have lasted for more than half a century and have presented socially important issues, introduced new talent to the world, and given the world something to watch 52 weeks out of the year with no breaks and no hiatus. Reality television has given us Snooki and the Situation.

In the next couple of years, soap operas may be all but gone, and for someone who saw how much soaps meant to the women who raised him, it's hard to say goodbye.

by A.J. Focht

With The Amazing Spider-Man set to release this coming July, it might seem a little early to be thinking of a spin-off movie for the series, but it looks like Sony already is. The company is negotiating with Josh Trank, director of this year’s indie superhero hit Chronicle, to take the lead on the Venom movie. The idea of a Venom movie has been tossed around by Sony since 2008, but they are hoping to use the success of the upcoming Amazing Spider-Man to launch the spin-off. Trank has already shown us he knows how to handle the hero-to-villain transformation so a Venom film should come as natural to him.



Speaking of The Amazing Spider-Man, last week, Stan Lee revealed he is a playable character in the upcoming Amazing Spider-Man videogame. There is no word on who Stan Lee’s character in the game will be, or if this will tie into his cameo in the movie. But fear not true believers, The Amazing Spider-Man game will be released on June 26 and all will be revealed then.

The Avengers have broken their own record with the trailer released last week. Surpassing the numbers achieved for most times viewed on iTunes in a twenty-four hour period by The Avengers super bowl trailer, the newest clip was viewed 13.7 million times in just one day, and that’s just on iTunes. With numbers like that showing for the trailers, there is no doubt that The Avengers will be setting the bar pretty high for all the superhero movies released this summer.

The DC Nation programming block on Cartoon Network premiered this last weekend. It brings exclusive DC cartoons including Green Lantern and Young Justice to the Saturday morning line up. Alongside the cartoons will be several shorts featuring less known heroes. In recent interviews, some of the shorts were previewed including Thunder and Lightning, a take on DC’s first black super hero, Black Lightning, and his life raising super powered daughters. These shorts will focus more on the comedic side of the DC heroes compared to the more serious cartoons.

From Scorpion King all the way to Hercules, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson will be playing Hercules in the upcoming Brett Ratner adaption of Steve Moore’s comic, The Thracian Wars. The comic is about Hercules leading a group of mercenaries in a revolt against the insane king. Not much more is known about the story as this particular comic hasn’t been published yet.

While The Avengers might be Joss Whedon’s most anticipated project of the year, his horror film, Cabin in the Woods, releases first on April 13, and a new trailer has been released for it. It’s pretty apparent that there is a lot more going on than your traditional cabin in the woods horror story.



Joss Whedon isn’t the only one releasing a bunch of films this year. Tim Burton also has his hands in on three different movies. With Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter being the most publicized, two of the others nearly slipped through the cracks. In a recent interview, Burton discussed his upcoming Dark Shadows. He didn’t tell us much, other than it will be a dark family story, along the lines of Beetlejuice. With no trailers, posters, and minimal press coverage about Dark Shadows, it’s unknown what we should expect, other than Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. But don’t be dismayed by the lack of info on that project, the first official preview for Burton’s other project, Frankenweenie, has been released. This Disney CGI film follows the heartwarming tale of a young boy and his undead dog.

FOX has sacrificed their first TV show of the year, Terranova. After just one season, the Jurassic time travel tale is getting cut. It’s not a huge surprise, considering the low audience and high costs. This is likely only the start of the cancellations to be announced over the next few months, and it looks like genre based shows are in the cross hairs.

by Brad Warner



I follow Thich Nhat Hanh on Twitter. But, whereas I write my own Twitter posts, I doubt that Mr. Hanh sits in front of his Macbook and types his out for the world to see. My guess is that some minion of his scans his books for pithy statements that fit the Twitter mold and then uploads them. The Thichster probably never even sees them. I rarely see them either. But yesterday this one popped up:

So I Tweeted the following back at him:

I've said here a few times how much I hate the word "mindfulness." This quote seems to embody everything I don't like about that word.

To be fair to Mr. Hanh, there are many ways to take this statement. There are a lot of things he might have meant by it. For example, he might have meant it as a sort of advertising for meditation. Yardley Aftershave Lotion might tell you, "You'll get lots of chicks if you douse yourself with Yardley" as an incentive to get you to buy more Yardley Aftershave Lotion. Perhaps Mr. Hanh wants you to know that you'll appreciate the sunrise lots more if you do meditation practice. Which is fine, I guess.

But there's another way to take this statement. And I honestly believe it's the way most people would take it. They'd look at it and say, "Gosh. I'm not mindful enough. I'm not concentrated enough. Because when I look at a sunrise, I just shade my eyes so that I can get through this traffic jam on West Market Street without running over any of the kids from Our Lady of the Elms. Sunrises kind of annoy me. They give me a headache. I better get more concentrated and more mindful so that I can be more like Thich Nhat Hanh and let the beauty of the sunrise be revealed to me."

In other words, the concept of "mindfulness" gets in the way of the sunrise. It becomes a big obstacle between what we think of as our self and what we think of as the sunrise. And we make our efforts to try to overcome the obstacle we've placed in our own way. Most of the time I hear or read the word "mindfulness" it sounds to me like an obstacle.

Pretty much all of our religions and our various self-help practices are based on the idea that what we are right now is not good enough. We then envision what "good enough" must be like and we make efforts to transform what we are right now into this image of ourselves as "good enough." We invent in our minds an imaginary "mindful me" and then try to make ourselves into that.

The problem with this kind of effort is right at its very root. We are setting up a habit of always judging ourselves as being not whatever it is we want to be. Whether you're poor and want to be rich or whether you're dull and want to be mindful, it's pretty much the same thing. Of course we'd probably have a better world if more people were ambitious to be mindful than were ambitious to be rich. Probably. But maybe not. Because the effort to be something you're not always seems to go wrong no matter what it is you want to be -- even if you want to be super terrifically nice.

People who are working on fulfilling some image they have of a "nice person" are usually a pain in the ass. Their efforts to be like the "nice person" they've invented in their heads almost always get in the way of actually doing what needs to be done. Most of the time I'd rather be around someone who is honestly selfish than someone who is forever trying to be helpful. That kind of forced helpfulness is almost never helpful at all. It's annoying. Sometimes it's even harmful.

But those of us who realize that we actually aren't as good as we could be have a real dilemma. What do you do when you recognize that you really are greedy, envious, jealous, angry, pessimistic and so on and on and on?

To me, it seems like the recognition of such things is itself good enough. It's not necessary to envision a better you and try to remake yourself in that image. Just notice yourself being greedy and very simply stop being greedy. Not for all time in all cases. Just in whatever instance you discover yourself being greedy. If you're greedy on Tuesday for more ice cream, don't envision a better you somewhere down the line who is never greedy for more ice cream. Just forgo that last scoop of ice cream right now. See how much better you feel. This kind of action, when repeated enough, becomes a new habit. Problem solved.

As far as mindfulness and concentration are concerned, it works the same way. At the moment you notice yourself drifting off, come back. You might start drifting off again a nanosecond later. But that's OK. When you notice it again, come back again. Repeat as necessary.

Trying to be more mindful and concentrated is just gonna put you right to where you were drifting away from the sunrise in the first place.


***

Brad Warner is the author of Sex, Sin and Zen: A Buddhist Exploration of Sex from Celibacy to Polyamory and Everything in Between as well as Hardcore Zen, Sit Down and Shut Up! and Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate. He maintains a blog about Buddhist stuff that you can click here to see.

Brad Warner will be speaking in Los Angeles soon.

March 10, 2012
10 AM - 3:30 PM
Hill Street Center
237 Hill St.
Santa Monica, CA 90405

March 15, 2012
7:30 PM - 9:00 PM
Against the Stream
4300 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90029

You can also buy T-shirts and hoodies based on his books, and the new CD by his band Zero Defex now!



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by Nahp Suicide


[Talena in Middle of Nowhere]

Talena is a Latin American photographer. She lives in Chile but travels constantly to other Latin American countries to shoot sets with different SGs. She has been with SuicideGirls since 2007, and is both a model and a photographer.

How did you first get involved with SuicideGirls?

I remember finding a few pictures of Quinne, Apnea, and other models thanks to Fotolog. Then I found a link to the SG site, and took the free tour. I used to think that SG was only for North American models.

What's your background photography-wise?

My start was thanks to Fotolog. That was how I got involved in photography too, with standard cameras, trying to get the best out of every machine that I had during that time. I was also my own model. I am a self-taught photographer from the beginning, so I know that photography will be my only path in life. In the present I’m studying Visual Art and Photography. I enjoy it very much, but college only gives me the status of professional. I feel like the experience with SuicideGirls gives me all the knowledge of a professional photographer, the studies only give me some foundation in technique. But as an artist or a professional related to art and expression we’re always gonna learn some more.


[Emanuelle in Playground Love]

What was the first photo you had published?

That was in a publication called Pink Attitude. They bought my self-portrait for the cover around 2007 or 2008.

How would you describe your style?

Tough question; In the beginning I was trying to follow the style of the site. It took some time for me to discover my own voice, my own emotional vibration. Outside of SG my style is more dark but equally feminine, playing with the atmosphere, with textures, and the temperature. I guess, little by little, I ended up transferring a mix between my personal style and the style of the site.

What gear do you use?

A Canon 7D with two lenses: a 28-155mm and a 50mm. I aso use a Canon Speedlite 580 II flash and some reflectors. I’m planning to increase my gear this year.


[Noidd in The Bright Young Things]

How important is Photoshop in your final images?

It’s a tool in that it complements my work, BUT you have to understand that the capture is everything. When I take a good capture, I can always visualize how it’s gonna end up, what kind of mood, the aesthetics, the feeling, the personality of the picture. So for me it is a great tool to increase, interpret, and transform the conditions and details since as a photographer sometimes you have to fight with nature.

What gives you ideas and inspires you to create such amazing sets?

I am inspired by several sources: fashion, film, music, and the feeling that remains in my subconscious, that makes me dream. I also get inspired by the style and the personality of the models. It’s really fun adapt a vision based on the style of the model because that only makes the results better.


[Liu, Prussia and Cassiopea in Cherry Bomb]

What is your favorite image?

Oh god, that’s difficult, because lately I have shot so many sets and I think most of them are my favorites. But I think one of them is from the multi of Liu, Prussia and Cassiopea called Cherry Bomb.

Tell us why it's your fave and how you achieved it?

I specially love this picture because the girls had so much fun. I mean, as a matter of fact, most of the pictures were spontaneous. It was so much fun. The four of us took a long trip to take the shots. It happened in a room full of instruments. Everywhere was smelling of beer and cigarettes, and everyone was sweating and laughing till they burst. I think that’s why it’s one of my faves. It was a nice moment. I love that set to death.

Is there anybody or anything you would love to photograph that you haven't? (And tell us why)

My dream is go to Europe and be able to shot every place that crosses my sight. Getting to know Germany especially, would also be a dream. Being able to shooting Manko, Quinne, Radeo, Plum, Annalee, Kraven, Jamity, and the list goes and goes. The truth is that I hope to meet and shoot so many girls of the site. I’ve had the opportunity to visit different countries and meet very gorgeous girls in each one. I hope to continue traveling the world and not stopping. There's so much beauty in every place.


[Liu in Fake Diamonds, Fur Coat]

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by SG's Team Agony feat. Yesenia

Let us answer life's questions - because great advice is even better when it comes from SuicideGirls.


[Yesenia in The Watering Hole]

Q: Me and my ex-boyfriend have a lot of drama going on still. We ended our relationship about three months ago, however, after we broke up we have been seeing each other almost every day. We have sex and still act like a couple around each other. I even made a trip with him and his family over the Christmas holiday.

I thought this would clear up everything, but clearly we are still broken up. He is even dating someone else who has no idea that I spent the holidays with him and his family.

What should I do? Should I tell the chick we are still dating, or should I just keep it to myself? I love this boy, and would really like to get back with him.

Please help.

A: I would talk to him about it. Talking to the girl isn't going to do any good. He is the one essentially dating two girls, and he is the one you want to be with. He is therefore the one you should talk to.

Be honest about your feelings for him and that you want a relationship again. Since you are not committed to each other at this time, you are both allowed to see other people. If that is not something that you are okay with, I would be open about those feelings. Think about what you expect out of your time together and try to have a "bird's eye view” of the situation.

Ultimately though, if he’s not willing to return to an exclusive situation, and that’s what you want, you must be prepared to walk away – completely this time – since clearly this current situation is not making you happy and is therefore not a healthy one for you.

Good luck!

Yesenia
xx

***

Got Problems? Let SuicideGirls’ team of Agony Aunts provide solutions. Email questions to: gotproblems@suicidegirls.com

by Steven-Elliot Altman (SG Member: Steven_Altman)

Our Fiction Friday serialized novel, The Killswitch Review, is a futuristic murder mystery with killer sociopolitical commentary (and some of the best sex scenes we’ve ever read!). Written by bestselling sci-fi author Steven-Elliot Altman (with Diane DeKelb-Rittenhouse), it offers a terrifying postmodern vision in the tradition of Blade Runner and Brave New World...

By the year 2156, stem cell therapy has triumphed over aging and disease, extending the human lifespan indefinitely. But only for those who have achieved Conscientious Citizen Status. To combat overpopulation, the U.S. has sealed its borders, instituted compulsory contraception and a strict one child per couple policy for those who are permitted to breed, and made technology-assisted suicide readily available. But in a world where the old can remain vital forever, America’s youth have little hope of prosperity.

Jason Haggerty is an investigator for Black Buttons Inc, the government agency responsible for dispensing personal handheld Kevorkian devices, which afford the only legal form of suicide. An armed “Killswitch” monitors and records a citizen’s final moments — up to the point where they press a button and peacefully die. Post-press review agents — “button collectors” — are dispatched to review and judge these final recordings to rule out foul play.

When three teens stage an illegal public suicide, Haggerty suspects their deaths may have been murders. Now his race is on to uncover proof and prevent a nationwide epidemic of copycat suicides. Trouble is, for the first time in history, an entire generation might just decide they’re better off dead.

(Catch up with the previous installments of Killswitch – see links below – then continue reading after the jump…)



[THE KILLSWITCH REVIEW – CHAPTER NINE, PART TWO]

[GHOSTS IN THE MACHINE]

[Previous Chapter / Next Chapter]

They wove between stalks of NewVada skyline toward the rising sun. Haggerty leaned his head back against the panel and closed his eyes. He’d gone a long time without sleep. He popped a celtrex while Elsa threaded them between the monolithic skyscrapers of the Kubrick district past the city demarcation line and over the desert.

“Where is she, Elsa?” he asked.

“The geographical coordinates of her last signature place her approximately twelve minutes out,” Elsa replied. “But scanners indicate there’s nothing there but a power grid.”

Haggerty cracked his knuckles. Twelve minutes was a long time in the air; they might be tracked via satellite or, worse, shot down. Mile after mile of desolation sped by in the viewer and miraculously no weapons lock was detected. Either they were incredibly lucky or somebody was on their side.

“We should be coming up on visual range of the grid now,” Elsa said.

The protruding hypersteel dome of the grid shimmered into existence atop the sand — and nothing else.

“Could she be in there, Elsa?”

“It’s possible,” Elsa replied. “But we’re talking very small maintenance shafts and her signature registered outside the grid.”

She directed Haggerty’s attention to an empty patch of sand and rock and began dropping altitude to circle. The pod pitched forward, throwing him hard against his seatbelt.

“Initiating emergency procedure,” Elsa said calmly, adjusting the aircraft’s trim and retracting the steering mechanism full back, bringing the nose of the pod suddenly skyward.

Haggerty caught his breath as Elsa’s fingers blurred into motion on the thruster controls.

“We impacted with something beneath us and sustained damage,” she said. “I’ll bring us down as slowly as possible. Cross your fingers.”

Haggerty watched the ground rush up to meet them. He was painfully jolted again as the landing gear struck prematurely and Elsa quickly disengaged the thrust.

“We’re down,” she said, “although the altimeter readings state otherwise.”

Haggerty rubbed at the base of his spine. Someone wearing goggles and a loose, enveloping robe — male or female was impossible to tell — appeared out of nowhere and headed across the sand toward them.

Haggerty drew the stunner and popped the hatch, confused as he stepped down; it didn’t feel like sand beneath his shoes. “Hands in the air!” he warned.

The approaching figure complied instantly and cautiously continued in their direction, stopping about two yards from Haggerty and Elsa.

“Pull down your face mask,” Haggerty said. “Slowly.”

The goggles and face mask came away, revealing a man with dark eyes, a reddish beard, and heavily tanned skin. He looked like someone in the prime of a vigorous, active middle age.

“Who are you?” Haggerty demanded.

“I’m Joe Svoboda, Mr. Haggerty. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m sure Regina will be happy to see you. If you’ll put that stunner away, I’ll bring you to her and answer all of your questions.”

He’s telling the truth, Jason, Elsa linked.

Haggerty pocketed the weapon.

“Thank you, Mr. Haggerty,” Svoboda said. “Come inside and meet your fans.”

Haggerty looked bewildered. “Inside?” he asked, indicating the miles of empty desert around them.

“You crash landed on top of our mess hall. I’m hoping you didn’t cause too much damage to our projection cells.”

“We are standing atop a projected image?” Elsa asked.

“A bit of holographic technology,” Svoboda said proudly. “Hundreds of tiny cameras continuously capture images of the desert and project them across the surface of our little town.”

“Making it virtually invisible,” Elsa said.

“Precisely,” Svoboda responded. “Follow me. Be careful on the glass.”

He led them toward the place where he’d first appeared out of the sand and retracted a small hatch, abruptly ending the illusion. Before them was an old-style electrolift. Dozens of people shouted up at them excitedly from below.

“They’re cheering for you, Mr. Haggerty,” Svoboda explained, stepping onto the lift and activating a control. “We’ve all been following your investigation and we’re very impressed.”

Haggerty looked up at the underside of the massive screen of projection cells as they descended. “I’ll be damned,” he muttered.

Svoboda smiled.

The hidden town was comprised of several dozen double-decker cabins, a few buildings that appeared to be made of desert rock, a huge water tower, and at least fifty antiquated mobile homes. When they reached the ground, a young man attired similarly to Svoboda stepped over to him.

“Ricardo, please get up there with some men and tarp their vehicle before it gets noticed,” Svoboda said.

“Sure thing, Joe. Nice going, Haggerty!”

Haggerty was bemused. A Code Six fugitive, they treated him like a conquering hero. People rushed up to him yelling his name, reaching out and touching and demanding that he shake their hands, which he did to the best of his ability. Too many names and remarks for him to make sense of anything being said.

He was startled to realize that most of them had never been to a plastiche parlor. Many appeared too young for the standard geno-immunization treatments Conscientious Citizens underwent at age thirty. All were dressed in loose robes. The majority of them were women.

Svoboda held up his arms. “Everyone, please,” he said in the voice of someone used to making himself heard above large, noisy crowds. “Mr. Haggerty has had a long night and we have a lot to discuss. I’m sure he’ll make time for you later. Everyone get back to work.”

The crowd dispersed with shouts and waves and grumbles.

Svoboda, Haggerty, and Elsa passed a lean-to where two women with prominent bellies smiled and waved excitedly at him. Haggerty waved back good-naturedly. “How many people live here?” he asked Svoboda.

“A little over three hundred at present.”

“I notice your population is predominantly female.”

“The organization’s pretty equally divided,” Svoboda said. “But you’re right, the majority who live here are women.”

“Pregnant women,” Haggerty said as another strolled by, one hand on her protruding stomach and the other leading a small child.

Svoboda grinned. “Yes, Mr. Haggerty, we’re gender offenders. I don’t hold with the government interfering in an issue as personal as choosing to bear a child. These are all applicationless, unapproved pregnancies, and mostly unregistered children you’re seeing.”

Fertility was illegal but unregistered birth was punishable by exile. “I’m not a policeman,” Haggerty said. “Although I admit that yesterday I’d have reported you and had you arrested.”

“Yesterday you were an obedient cog in a dreadful machine, Mr. Haggerty. As we all were once. Today that system will be taken to task.”

They were passing through a makeshift square where a few dozen women and toddlers milled around a viewscreen powered by exposed electrical groundwire. Haggerty looked at the screen and saw himself looking at the screen with Svoboda beside him. He turned to Elsa, who was drawing the same conclusion.

“You cracked Elsa?” he said.

Svoboda nodded. “She’s an amazing piece of work.”

“You did this utilizing PE technology?” Elsa asked. She stared at her transmission; the monitor displayed a video feedback loop repeating to infinity.

“I do hope you’ll forgive me. And I see Regina’s shared more than I anticipated with you. I cracked you while you were in hibernation mode two nights ago. Had you begin transmitting to us on secured channels over Indra and blocked your awareness that I’d done so. Not bad for tek running on rusty wire, huh? I’ll assume that’s how you found us, a reverse trace?”

Haggerty was astounded. If his personal information were that vulnerable, all stored information was vulnerable. And his assistant had been used as a surveillance cam.

“Make it stop, Svoboda,” Haggerty demanded angrily.

“As you wish, Mr. Haggerty.” Svoboda went to the door of a stone building. “Please join me. My receiver is just inside.”

Haggerty stepped into the dwelling ahead of Svoboda.

“Jason!” Regina cried and rushed to him. Instinctively his arms reached to hold her.

“I’m so glad you’re alive,” she said. She laughed through her tears. “Although I wish you’d found a better disguise.” Her hand rested lightly on his plastiched cheek.

“Regina,” he said, staring down at her tearstained face. It felt so good to hold her again. She looked the same as when he’d seen her last — the same clothes, including his shirt. But so much had happened to him since then. “I’m so sorry about your brother.”

She placed a finger gently against his lips. Haggerty pulled her close.

“Your friend Traci is —”

“We know,” Svoboda said. “You’ve been blamed. We know you’re innocent. We know everything you’ve learned, from watching your investigation through Elsa. And I have information you don’t have that you’ll find useful. That’s why you’re here. Let’s go into my sitting room, shall we?”

* * *

Excerpt from The Killswitch Review, published by Yard Dog Press. Copyright 2011 Steven-Elliot Altman.

Steven-Elliot Altman is a bestselling author, screenwriter, and videogame developer. He won multiple awards for his online role playing game, 9Dragons. His novels include Captain America is Dead, Zen in the Art of Slaying Vampires, Batman: Fear Itself, Batman: Infinite Mirror, The Killswitch Review, The Irregulars, and Deprivers. His writing has been compared to that of Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Michael Crichton and Philip K. Dick, and he has collaborated with world class writers such as Neil Gaiman, Michael Reaves, Harry Turtledove and Dr. Janet Asimov. He’s also the editor of the critically acclaimed anthology The Touch, and a contributor to Shadows Over Baker Street, a Hugo Award winning anthology of Sherlock Holmes meets H.P. Lovecraft stories.

Steven also bares ink on his body, and is bi, as in bi-coastal, between NYC and LA. He’s currently hard at work writing and directing his latest videogame Cursed Love, an online free to play gothic horror RPG from Dark Hermit Studios, set in Victorian London. Think Sherlock Holmes, Jack The Ripper and Dorian Gray mercilessly exploit the cast of Twilight. Friend Cursed Love (Official Closed Beta) on facebook and you can have fun playing out this tawdry, tragic romance with Steven while the game is being beta tested!

Diane DeKelb-Rittehouse spent several years in Manhattan as an actress before marrying her college sweetheart and returning to the Philadelphia area where she had been born. Diane first worked with Steven-Elliot Altman when they created the acclaimed, Publisher’s Weekly Starred-Review anthology The Touch: Epidemic of the Millennium, in which her story “Gifted” appeared. Diane has published a number of critically acclaimed short stories, most notably in the science fiction, murder, and horror genres. Her young adult fantasy novel, Fareie Rings: The Book of Forests, is now available in stores or online.

Interested in buying a printed copy of The Killswitch Review? Well, Steve’s publisher Yard Dog Press was kind enough to put up a special page where SuicideGirls can get a special discount and watch a sexy trailer. Just follow this link to KillswitchReview.com and click on the SG logo.

* * *

Related Posts:
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Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One, Part Two
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Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter One, Part Four
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Two, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Two, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Two, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Three, Part One
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Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Three, Part Three
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Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Four, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Five, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Five, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Five, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Six, Part One
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Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Six, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Seven, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Seven, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Seven, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Seven, Part Four
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Seven, Part Five
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Eight, Part One
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Eight, Part Two
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Eight, Part Three
Fiction Friday: The Killswitch Review – Chapter Nine, Part One

by David Seaman



Today is the first day of a new America, one in which United States citizens can be detained indefinitely without due process. To mitigate the outcry against the NDAA – mostly from the twittergentsia since the mainstream media has for the most part looked the other way – Obama offered up a last minute waiver before the bill came into effect at midnight last night.

However, the waiver itself is not law, merely a statement of intention, meaning future Presidents will not be bound by what it says. Furthermore, Obama seems to be playing a PR word game with this essentially meaningless bit of paper. The key word here is “requirement” – which is repeatedly used in the Presidential Policy Directive (18 times in total). This basically mean there isn't a requirement to use military detainment, but they still can. Feel safer now? Thought not.

In the above clip from RT America, SG political contributor David Seaman discusses the Obama’s recent tweaks to the NDAA, and what they really mean (if anything). – SG Ed, Nicole Powers

***

About David Seaman:
David Seaman is an independent journalist. He has been a lively guest on CNN Headline News, FOX News, ABC News Digital, among others, and is the host of The DL Show. Some say he was recently censored by a certain large media corporation for posting a little too much truth... For more, find him on G+ and Twitter.

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by Laurelin



People always think that as a bartender I must be always surrounded by men. Flirting with the bartender is just what people do, it’s true. I’m going to be honest though -- besides the occasional coworker, in my years behind the bar I have never once met and wound up hooking up with or dating a guy I’ve met while working. I am friendly, but I am not one of those girls who bats her eyelashes for tips. I would rather impress you with my knowledge of beer selection than with my boobs (although I do have a pretty perky rack).

That being said, let’s move on to something a little on the girly side: hair. I have spent the majority of my life as a faux ginger. My hair is naturally mousy brown, and in high school (without my parents permission of course) I started dying it auburn. With the exception of a few years of rebellion with crazy haircuts and experimenting with pinks, blues, and purples, I have always had long, red hair. I woke up one morning about a month ago with a new idea in my head. Blonde. I wonder…Not an hour later I found myself in a salon chair covered in foils, and an hour after that, I was a different person. I looked in the mirror and couldn’t believe it. Could I touch it? Is this me?

I didn’t think anyone would care, but as the days went by I started to notice a serious difference in the way men talked to me. People held doors, bought me drinks, smiled more. Is this for real? Maybe it was in the way I held myself; I had just received two promotions at both my jobs and I admit to having a bit more pep in my step as of late. Either way, people always say blondes have more fun, and I’m starting to think they weren’t kidding. My bar shifts end in multiple phone numbers written on napkins and bar receipts. Guys hang around a little past closing and ask what I’m doing after work, I need to shove them out the door and try not to laugh. People whistle in the streets and I’m wondering, was I invisible as a red head? Seriously?

The other night at a charity event I met this guy who on paper, seemed perfect. We chatted, I wasn’t exactly interested but I wasn’t not interested. He wound up having too much to drink and in ordering us a round of beers he made a snide comment, purposely insulting the bartender. I was horrified, but I thanked him for the chat and went to find my friends. I could feel his eyes on me for the rest of the night, and I wished I had anywhere else to be.

One week later, I’d just started a shift at work. Before I can even take off my coat, I look up and there he is, the guy from the charity event. My cheeks burn and I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

“Do you remember me?” he asks.

“Yes…” I say.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he says. “I can’t believe I didn’t get your number. Please, go out with me.” I look around, wondering if anyone else is hearing this. The coat I have taken only halfway off suddenly feels like a million pounds of wool, and I start sweating.

“Um, I’m flattered, but I’m kind of seeing someone…” I manage to stammer.

“I don’t care,” he says. “One coffee date.” Whelp, that’s it for me. The scent of desperation on anyone makes bile rise in my throat but at the same time I feel so bad for this guy that I can barely stand it.

“You should go,” I say. He doesn’t go, he stares at me, and as the other bartender walks up I hold my hand up in a half wave, and he finally gets it. He leaves, and I start my shift shaking.

Fucking blonde hair, seriously. I’m in trouble.



***

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