age: 35 (Nov 06, 1976)

MEMBER SINCE: February 2005

occupation: Retired. I do some volunteering but it's more fun than work. Past jobs have included stripper, waitress, teacher, bouncer, bartender & landlord.

makes me sad: Cowardice. Lost love.

sign: Scorpio in search of Cancer BCB.

into: Teaching. Learning.

i lost my virginity: Far too young.

body mods: Pierced nipples and ears. Lots of scars & broken bones.

heroes: Jean Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, Voltaire, Nikolai Tesla, Yusuf Balasagun, Neil Gaimen, Robin Hobb & Jennifer Harmon.

stats: Undefeated. I've taken a lot of damage. Been bloodied and bruised but never knocked out. These days I leave most of the fighting to others.

most humbling moment: When I realized that the man I thought was my soul mate didn't love me enough to make it work. That he was just going to let me go away. ... Again ... Every time I go back to him hoping he has changed his mind. ..... Every time I realize that I will never get over him. ..... Knowing that I recently made another man feel exactly the way he made me feel. .... Wishing I could have found a way to change that and realizing it was impossible.

crush: Breaks my heart every time I see him. So why move back where he lives? Because never seeing him makes my heart ache. Being close to him, even if we never talk, feels right. Even if it makes me kind of a stalker.

gets me hot: Men who admire without leering. Girls who do leer. Dancing, good food, cooking with someone I love, massages, especially foot massages, wrestling with a man who doesn't either try to "let" me win or get his ego crushed when he can't pin me. Hands that are both strong and gentle. Overdeveloped calf muscles. Confidence.