Chris Brown & Rihanna

You're not reading and comprehending what I wrote and you're trying to make an argument that isn't there.

When I said "It's never okay to beat a woman", I didn't think that was too ambiguous of a statement. I figured most people would understand that it was my wish to convey my belief that as a man, it is never acceptable to beat a woman.

The only way you could disagree with what I said would be to argue that "Yes, as a man I think it is okay to beat a woman". At no time did I say that self-preservation, or the defense of a defenseless person is akin to a beating. You though that up on your own, apparently...and decided to draw up a scenario to show me how wrong I am to think that men shouldn't beat women.

Are you unclear on what a beating is?

The phrase "beating" is subjective. So yeah, I think maybe we are unclear on your personally subjective definition of beating. You seem to be using it to refer to battery, but it's not clear where you draw the line between a beating and other violence.

If you're saying it is never, ever ok for a guy to hit a girl I'm going to come steal all your stuff now; have fun trying to stop me. If you're saying it's never, ever ok for a guy to start a fight with a girl that's something else. But when you say:

you're getting away from battery and into no violence ever.

See, the problem I have with this idea is straightforward. I'm a woman, and I was in a violently abusive relationship with another woman. You're saying that some poor boy who found himself in my situation doesn't have the right to stand up to his abuser, and that is she starts beating him up he's only allowed to stop her from hitting him. Sometimes it takes more than that. Anyone who beats up their child, partner, or whomever, is asking for a broken arm, regardless of gender. Someone who assaults someone else has forfeited their entitlement to safety.

The sentiment that it's disgusting for a dude to beat up his lady is laudable, but you're oversimplifying.

I really don't think that's what you said.

You seemed to liken self-preservation to a beating. You said:

The implication there is that avoiding the violence ("hold them back... passively try to defend") is the furthest a man can go, and that the option of hitting back is out of the question. The implication of your statement is that under no circumstance can you return the violence in order to incapacitate or intimidate the woman from continuing the pursuit of violence. That is where I got the idea that you equate "beat" with "hit".

I'm unclear on what you think a beating is.

I was going to take this line out, but I ran out of edit window. Please take the following paragraph instead:

If you're saying men don't get to hit girls because because men are naturally bigger than girls, I'm saying that a girl who picks a fight with someone twice her size has elected to take the risks inherent. I don't see how it's any different than a weedy teenage trying to pick a fight with a three hundred pound fireman. If elect not to hit them that's your prerogative, but it's not universally unethical.

sounds like someone's volunteering for a demonstration!

Passively trying to defend yourself does not mean, in my opinion, the absolute absence of violence. Shoving someone off of you is a violent act. It's a defensive act, but it can be pretty violent. Grabbing the arm of someone about to strike you involves exertion of physical force, and it is still a defensive act.

Those things are all defensive in nature, but still involve "violence". So, I'm not advocating curling up into a fetal position is a woman is attacking you.

"Beating" someone is a purely offensive act. It's meant as intimidation, punishment, humiliation, whatever.

That's how I see it.

Irrelevant. Man, woman or beast...if you break into my house and I'm home...you're getting a face full of double ought buckshot.

I'm with Cash on this one. I hold doors open for women, I pay for dinner, and I do not fucking lay my hands on a woman in violence. Ever. If you're swinging at me and you're a woman, if I'm able I'm gonna restrain you, but you won't take a beating. Sorry. My grandpa raised me better than that. I firmly believe that women should be equal in every other way. And I don't hold these beliefs because I think women are weak, I hold them because I believe women deserve respect by virtue of being women. It's how I was raised.

i think a clearer differentiation would be, rather than what an act is, where the act stops. if i were to say i "beat" someone, i would be describing an extensive assault that continued long after my opponent/victim had ceased to be able to/try to defend themselves. if i pop someone in the face who i view as a credible threat, and it stops there, i would not say i "beat" that person. if the two of us slug it out for a while, but i stop when s/he gives up, i would again not say that i "beat" him/her.

but that's me.

That's something I disagree with completely on the grounds of it being a slippery slope.

I think women deserve respect by virtue of being people, and that they shouldn't be treated differently because of their gender.

thank you.

I think the essence of both sides of the argument is, no one should visit unnecessary violence on someone who's physically inferior or no longer a threat.

And, more specific to the original topic, anyone who does that to a romantic partner is a piece of shit.

Werd.

This.

Too bad there's a big TMZ on her face. That's even worse when you're branded.

I find posting someone's domestic abuse evidence photograph to be in pretty bad taste.

Yeah you're right I should have made it a spoiler. Sorry.

My 18 yr old neice loves him and has a picture of herself with him from some overpriced 'pay $250 and meet chris for 10 minutes beofre the show' thing and he's got the ugliest sweater in history on. Bill Cosby wouldn't wear this sweater.
She says she hates him now. That shit is never ever cool but hopefully it leads to her trying some new music.

HOPEFULLY, it will reaffirm that violence against women is very, very bad...even if you're rich, famous, good-looking, popular, etc;.

What was that rapper that literally threw kid off stage? My point it's not just women.

I like LA Boxing's solution

You DO realize that domestic violence against women is a MUCH larger problem in this country....don't you?

An old Mentor of mine who used to work with community groups helping domestic abuse victims had some very intersting theory's and explanations for people like thease two and realtionships that are violent in their nature.

Firstly, we dont know what really happened so we can't judge to much too soon. So why is she taking him back after all the celebs, pundits comments and bad press about this situation?

Creating drama's is what young girls do, Don't argue the coin toss with me they do we all know just ask any Mother of teenage girls. ( lets not forget she is also very young )

So sometimes they go to far and in some cases as my friend used to say, they never grow out of it. I'm not saying she wanted it but pushing a partners buttons purely for the reaction, or a teenage drama Queen type thing but not anticipating a beating as part of the bargin can leave some women feeling guilty and ashamed.

So she takes him back because she feels bad about the whole thing, he says what she wants to hear and we all stand back thinking WTF just happened. Again I'm not saying its her fault and no one should ever hit anyone but this is the real world and people do this to each other in relationships all the time.

It is not only celebrities who beat up their spouses. It is your next door neighbour , the person down the road , someone who gets on your train . Do YOU ignore them , or still say good morning ? It is easier to rant at a celebrity because one does not have to live with/near them .Let's start shaming the abusers within our own communities first.

At least it's giving us chance to realize that celebs are just as feral and screwed up as everyone...they've just got more toys and prettier polish.

And they are in the studio working on a duet.